Don't we all want our children to communicate with us? To be able to resolve conflict among themselves? To come up with solutions to problems? To fix situations in which they repeatedly get in trouble?
Of course we do. I want my children to be able to discuss issues and brainstorm solutions...and at the ages of 9 and 13, I think they should be well on the way to being able to do so.
Therefore, when my girls came to me this morning and said they had a solution to the kitchen issue, I applauded them.
What's the kitchen issue, you ask? Well, that's their chore. After all meals, the girls have to clean up the kitchen; this includes the food, dishes, counters and table, and the floor. It was MY suggestion that they take turns, that way we would know what parts each child needed work on. BUT Daddy said no. They should work together, to learn teamwork.
Well, I guess in a way that makes sense to me, so I let them work together. However, in this new apartment, it's extremely tiny (not only the kitchen, but everything else). So when you have 2 people in there, it's hard to move.
Add to that the fact that they do more talking, giggling and playing than actual cleaning, and we have an issue. Hence, the "kitchen issue".
Anyway, they came to me this morning and had worked out a solution between the 2 of them: they would take turns. Each one of them would take one day in which the kitchen is her responsibility.
Daddy didn't even listen to their ideas. Just shot them down with a simple, curt "NO!" This is his normal reaction to anything they say...doesn't normally listen to anything. It's super frustrating! I was rather impressed with the fact that they had worked this out between the 2 of them, and then came to us with facts, ideas and the reasoning behind those ideas.
I tried telling David how impressed I was with the fact that they were trying to resolve conflict without our assistance, and their communication skills when they brought it to us.
But he can be so contradicting sometimes; he says he wants them to think for themselves, but when they do, he doesn't even listen, just tells them how wrong they are. But when you try to talk to him about it, he tells you you're wrong, he does listen, but they need to do what they're told, not what they want to do.
I don't want little robots. I think it's very important in today's world to have good conflict resolution skills, good communication skills, and good critical thinking skills. If everyone in this world did nothing but exactly what they're told, with no thought at all, what kind of world would we live in???
Anyway, I'm interested in what y'all think...ideas? comments? advice?
